Family

I will never forget August 5.  It was the day before Colin's 1st birthday.  We were having our family pictures taken.  That was the day I got a call from my dad.  His bladder cancer he'd found out about just a year ago, was terminal.  The doctors gave him "weeks to months".  Devastated is an understatement.  My daddy.  Colin's Opa.  Abel's dad.  Zach's father-in-law.  A brother, friend, uncle, son.

We decided we would go visit him.  Our trip to Fisher, Illinois (30 minutes from Champaign) was scheduled for the weekend of August 16.  The day of Colin's first birthday party, my uncles, who were visiting my dad, recommended we visit sooner if possible.  So, Saturday night, after Colin went to bed, we did laundry, packed up, and prepared to leave the next day.  I ran to school quickly to prepare for a week's worth of sub plans (the first week of school).  My principal met me there, told me not to worry, and so after getting a few things taken care of, I came back home.

The next day, with my mom and Abel following us in another car, we drove the 9+ hours to my dad's house in Fisher.  I couldn't believe how different he looked.  He'd lost a bunch of weight (after a failed treatment in the fall, he had surgery right after this Easter to remove his bladder).  But, he was still the same old daddy.  Colin played with him as we visited.

Over the next week, we went back and forth from his house to our hotel, and then from the V.A. hospital Hospice to another hotel.  Among everything, Colin was a trooper.  Schedules out the window for the most part, he coped perfectly.  We visited my dad as much as we could and for as long as he could handle.  My Aunt Lori came to visit for a few days.

Friday we went home.  After a tearful good bye, I kissed my dad, held Colin while he gave his Opa a wet smooch, and told him we'd see him next weekend (we'd planned to go back to visit).  He wanted us to get back, get back into our routine, and he would get to spend some time with his companion of 10+ years, Juli (who took great care of him after his surgery).

Saturday, my Aunt called Zach and the hospice said it would be soon.  That evening, very peacefully, he passed away, ready to go see his twin brother and his mom.  August 17, at the age of 63.

I kind of think he was waiting for us all to come visit, then go, to go to heaven.

Below is what I said at his memorial.

My daddy loved the color purple.  He loved sunflowers.  He loved the Royals, baseball, and all sports.  He loved reading our family blog and hearing about our adventures living in Europe.  He loved Abel and I, he thought his grandson was absolutely perfect, and he knew his son-in-law was the right one for his daughter.  The song “Ripple” by the Grateful Dead will always remind me of him, and I can still hear him playing the song on his guitar with his harmonica around his neck.  We loved going to the drive-in movies, and on the drive home from one I remember telling him I loved driving in the rain.  He taught my friend and I, at the age of 14, how to drive a stick -shift with such patience.  I cannot imagine what it must feel like to know you are not going to live very much longer, but he had so much strength living those last few days, going to hospice.  I’m so happy that he got to spend his last few days with his siblings, children, grandchildren, and best friend.  A few years ago he gave me a piece of advice that was given to him and my mom when they were pregnant with me.  “Try not to worry, it won’t change anything.”  While with my dad in Illinois, I tried to do just that.  I tried not to worry, just do what I could with what I had.  I’ll miss my dad forever, but every time I see a sunflower, watch a Royals game, hear the song “Ripple”, or see the color purple (it’s everywhere in Manhattan), I’ll be happy, thinking of my dad.  We love you daddy!

 I love him so much, and will miss him every day.  I'm just so thankful we got to spend so much time with him before he passed away, and that Zach and Colin knew him.